My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
