OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
