I must be too annoying 4 u.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
