Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
