sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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