I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize