Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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