Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
