I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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