im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
