dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
