you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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