I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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