Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
