She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
