Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
