There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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