I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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