We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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