You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
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Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize