You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
