You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
