Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
