Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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