Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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