Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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