I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize