I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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