even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
