Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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