she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You made out with two different species that night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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