I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
