Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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