What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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