I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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