I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my vag is so smooth its legendary
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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