So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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