We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
