Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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