so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
