he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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