Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
