Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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