So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
