do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
is that a dick in a sweater?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
