Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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