Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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