she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
