Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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