Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
