I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
