Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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