Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
