just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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