love makes seman taste better
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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