I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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