I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
