I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He kissed a someone with a penis
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
