I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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